


it's just that no one makes me feel this way

by stefonzolesky



Series: american pining [4]
Category: American Pie (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, unofficial relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 00:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16439408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Stifler can’t help but think, “this is so high school.”





	it's just that no one makes me feel this way

Heather and Oz don't stay together for long after the reunion, thank  _ God.  _

If Stifler had to see them making out in a window seat at the restaurant he works at (because, inevitably, he was fired. Being a temp sucked balls anyway) he would probably punch a hole through somebody's face.

Oz doesn't move immediately like Stifler expects him to. Heather moves away, so Oz sticks around. He hangs out at the bar by the register and throws quips at Stifler while he's trying to work. It's distracting, it's irritating, it's… endearing?

Stifler keeps his mouth shut about it.

 

+

 

“Why haven’t you moved back to reclaim your SportsView job?” Stifler can’t help but ask. He’s closing up shop, and it’s getting dark outside, but for some reason, Oz is still hanging around.

He shrugs, tracing lines in the residue from someone else’s condensation. Stifler gestures for him to move his hands so that he can wipe off the table.

“I couldn’t. And, either way, I guess I never realized how much I didn’t like that job until I left it,” He says, eyes downcast.

Stifler straightens out his back. “It’s easy to realize exactly how much or how little you want something once you can’t have it anymore. Or maybe you never really could.”

Oz’s eyes flit up to meet Stifler’s. “That’s… oddly eloquent, Stifler, how much have you thought about that?”

Stifler laughs, and shrugs because that’s all he can do.

 

+

 

Stifler totally understands what Jim sees in Michelle at this point. Besides the fact that she’s apparently crazy wild in bed, he finds that she’s easy to talk to.

Stifler is boiling over, and Cadence hasn’t spoken with him since a year after Jim and Michelle got married, so he needs another confidant. Who better than Cadence’s sister?

“I never saw you as a talker, Stifler,” Michelle observes.

Stifler is at her and Jim’s house to pick Jim up -- he's one of the designated drivers for the night out that the group has every month. Jim is in the shower.

Stifler shrugs. “You're sure you don't want to come out with us?”

Michelle laughs. “I'd love to, but I've gotta watch the kid.”

“Right.” Stifler frowns. “Fucking kids.”

“What did you want to talk about?”

Stifler considers immediately changing the subject because he's never been one to talk about his feelings, and he's never planned on becoming a pussy at any point in his life.

He decides to say, “I'm having dick troubles.”

Michelle laughs, startled. “Care to elaborate?”

So he does. He explains everything, from the house they rented in college, to the night he spent with Cadence, to seeing Oz at the reunion. And Michelle proves to be an incredible listener.

“You tell anyone, I’ll kill everything that you love.” Stifler’s voice wavers when he speaks. He’d be embarrassed to admit that he feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. 

“I would never,” Michelle promises. “I say you just talk to him. Maybe, I don’t know, get drunk before you do. That way you have a fallback if things go horribly wrong.”

Stifler thinks that might be the smartest thing she’s ever said.

 

+

 

That night, Stifler slams two shots before Oz even has the chance to sit down. He hands Jim his car keys.

Jim sighs and sits down next to him. Stifler glances at Jim and then moves four seats down the bar. He orders five shots, and when Finch reaches for one, he says, “Sorry, did you want something too?”

“Jesus, Stifler.” Kevin laughs. “What’s bothering you?”

Stifler’s fingers pinch another shot. “Wouldn’t you love to know.”

 

+

 

The ride home forces Stifler to recall that Oz is a touchy drunk.

They’re both in the back of Stifler’s car with Jim driving back to his place. Finch went with Kevin, and Oz and Finch had gotten into a fight at the bar over something stupid, so Oz refused to go with them.

Stifler isn’t nearly drunk enough to deal with Oz’s face buried in his neck.

Michelle eyes him when they stumble into the house, and holds a finger to her lips to signify that they have to be quiet. She presumably just got her child to sleep.

“We only have one guest room,” She whispers with a subtle wink in Stifler’s direction. “You two will have to share.”

Stifler really hopes he’ll die before he gets to the bedroom.

 

+

 

To wake up with a killer hangover is something Stifler has done many times since high school. 

To wake up with a killer hangover  _ and _ his best friend asleep on his chest is a far more jarring experience.

 

+

 

Jim drives Oz home when Stifler insists that he stay a little longer. As soon as they’re gone, Stifler slams his head into one of the Levenstein’s throw pillows and  _ screams. _

Michelle shushes him frantically.  

“Stifler!”

Stifler yanks his head up. “I’m fucked.”

Michelle nods solemnly. “I know.”

 

+

 

Stifler can’t help but think,  _ “this is so high school,” _ when he finds himself scribbling down his feelings on a napkin. 

He considers tearing the note up and never looking back, but Michelle snatches it from his hands before he can.

“I’m giving it to him,” She says. “For your sake.”

“Michelle,” Stifler starts. Michelle blinks. Their eyes are locked.

_ “Michelle,”  _ Stifler repeats.

Michelle stares him down. He slumps in his chair.

“Fine.”

 

+

 

It’s another week before Stifler hears from Oz. He stares at his ringing phone, his finger hovering over the ‘answer’ button, but he waits too long and it goes to voicemail.

_'Hey, Steven--’_ Steven. _‘-- Michelle gave me your letter.’ An uncomfortable laugh. ‘I think that it might be the most romantic gesture you’ve attempted in your life.’_ Bullshit. _‘I think… I think we should talk.’_

Stifler can feel his heart in his feet.

He says, “Okay,” out loud. There isn’t anyone there to hear him. He types and retypes and retypes a text to Oz until he’s sure he has it right and he still isn’t completely satisfied with his  _ ‘hey, ozzy! got your message. when do you wanna talk?’ _ but he knows it’s the best he’ll do. His tongue feels dry and swollen.

 

+

 

Oz promises to visit Stifler at work sometime and then makes good on that promise. Stifler is starting to close up when the door opens.

“Sorry, we’re closing up right now --” He looks up. “Oh. Hi.”

Oz smiles shyly. “Hi. I figured you wouldn’t want there to be a ton of people around.”

Stifler tenses up a little and goes back to wiping down counters. His heart is pounding.

“Just because I told you my dirty fuckin’ secret doesn’t mean I’m a pussy,” He says, avoiding eye contact with Oz at all costs. “Don’t act like I’m a whole different person or something.”

Oz holds his hand in a surrender. He takes a seat at the counter across from Stifler.

“Listen,” He says. “Stifler.”

“If you’re here to turn me down, I get it.” Stifler shuts his eyes. He’s laid himself out. Somehow, it doesn’t feel any better than bottling up shit he’s held in since college. “I just don’t want anything to change between us.”

Oz has the audacity to laugh.

“Aw,” He mocks, “the great rich and powerful Steve Stifler has  _ feelings?  _ Who would have known?”  

Stifler rolls his eyes. “Are we gonna hash this out or not?”

 

+

 

They talk it out. Stifler feels kind of like a shell of a person by the time Oz leaves, but they talked it out the best they could. 

Their resolution, Stifler finds, is far more satisfactory than any other resolution he could have hoped for.

 

+

 

It’s Michelle who asks, when Oz and Stifler stop by to pick up Jim for drinks that weekend. 

“So, you two…” She starts, but thinks better of herself and doesn’t finish.

“Not really,” Oz says. He looks at Stifler. Turns back to Michelle. “Kind of.” Back to Stifler. Back to Michelle. “Almost.”

Michelle nods -- if a situation like that were going to be understandable to anyone, it would be her.

“It seemed easiest,” Stifler explains. “Neither of us are really comfortable saying that we’re, uh….” Dating. Gay. Committed.

“It’s too soon,” Oz finishes.

Michelle nods again. “I get it, really. I’m happy for you two.

Stifler’s eyes narrow at her. “You tell Jim, I kill both of you.”

“I won’t,” Michelle promises with a small smile. “I swear on our lives.”

 

+

 

Stifler… 

Stifler, uh…

He forgets how to think. He forgets how to function as a semi-normal human being the first time Oz kisses him.

It’s like every dream he’s had since college -- literally and figuratively -- is finally coming true. And it’s fucking  _ awesome. _ It’s so fucking awesome that Stifler barely has the vocabulary to explain how fucking awesome it is. Saying “it’s fucking awesome” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

He grins like an idiot when Oz pulls away, and says, “Fuck yeah.”

So, yeah. Stifler is totally gay. Maybe he’s not ready to say it out loud, but he is. He’s standing with his back against the wall of a dingy bar bathroom with Oz’s breath hot on his face, and he’s totally fucking gay.

The bathroom door opens and Oz practically launches himself against the opposite wall. His breathing is hard. Stifler’s heart pounds harder.

“You boys look like you just saw a ghost.” Finch digs a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He gestures towards the bathroom door. “No smoking policy.”

Stifler breathes out, hard.

“Yeah,” He manages, struggling to get the word out of his mouth. Oz nods quickly, eyes shut tight. “Yeah.”

Finch glances between them and takes a drag of his cigarette.

“I’m, uh,” Oz mumbles. “I’m gonna… Yeah.” He quickly exits the bathroom. Stifler watches him go.

 

+

 

Stifler and Oz stay in the Levenstein’s guest room again. Stifler sits back on the bed with alcohol pumping through his body. 

He hopes they haven’t changed so much since college.

 

+

 

They’re half asleep before Oz decides to speak up.

“I thought it might have been you,” He says, slur in his voice. “At the reunion. I thought…”

Stifler bites down on the inside of his cheek. Oz may have  _ thought _ , but Stifler always  _ knew _ .

**Author's Note:**

> i might add a 5th to this series if i feel so inclined but here ya go


End file.
